Stylish Review – Gioteck Real Triggers

Gioteck’s Real Triggers are quite simply button extensions for the PS3 controller.

This is their official comment on their creation.

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“JUST A LITTLE TO THE LEFT AND… HAH! OWNED!

How many times have your fingers slipped off the L2 and R2, and always at a crucial moment in the game? RealTriggers put a stop to that happening ever again!
Simply put… if you use a Sony™ PS3 Controller, and your serious about your gaming, you should be using these!”

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Em, okay? In honestly, I’ve never really noticed having problems with the trigger buttons until I found these and was then like, “Oh yeah…” One of the main reasons I decided to buy these was their price tag.

5 quid? Yes please – I’m a sucker for little accessories and gadgets that I don’t need. I can quite truly say the cheap price of these pieces of plastic is more than half the reason I bought them. So, how do they fair? Well, let’s take a look at the package.

Done

Let’s get those pieces of plastic out.

Man, that was easy. The packaging is all very simple, nothing to worry about.

Now let’s slap em’ on. The box comes with a little diagram to tell you how to put it on but it’s really quite simple. I got it in 10 seconds. (hurray)

Grand

They’re supposed to stop you from slipping your finger like this,

Yeah…

So I pressed down on them and they felt pretty alright. More comfy but nothing too drastic. Time to test a game. Off to MGO (Metal Gear Online).

Only after half loading the game I realised MGO is a bad game to test it on. The only time you use the R2 & L2 buttons is when you need to cycle weapons/items – Then I thought maybe that’s no so bad of an example.

Right off, I found the bad aspect of the Real Triggers. MGO instant-switches through weapons by quickly tapping the R2 & L2 buttons, not pressing them. The new curve in the button made it a little hard to tap it and release as fast as I usually could. This didn’t stop my progress though and certainly didn’t get me killed in gameplay or anything. I adjusted to the change in about 5 minutes. (hurray again)

So I though I’d play a game that uses the R2 & L2 buttons for a bit more of a main purpose.

Before I continue, I’d like to point out that in any game that uses R1 as the main trigger for a gun (or such) is fucking STUPID. Fall of Man did it and so did Fallout 3. I fixed it for Fallout 3 though as it has a completely customisable controller layout in the options menu. So bare in mind, I’m using R2 as the trigger button, not R1.

So right off I took out my baseball bat and started to whack the piss out of everything in sight. Quite satisfying to begin with but the big perk of the Real Triggers came into play. In F3, I now remember my finger slipping so many times as I bashed the bolts out of robots with a blunt weapon which did actually annoy me a little now that I think about it. Real Triggers stopped that and I could swing away till dawn.

It only got better – I picked up an energy pistol; These things can fire 30 rounds a mag but are kinda off rhythm. You need to time your pulls on the trigger to get rapid fire. With Real Triggers I pulled half a mag of beams before I fucked up. Amazing! The protectron I was shooting at didn’t have a chance.

Bitches don’t know ’bout mah Real Triggers.

After that I got bored and didn’t bother testing other games. I suppose driving games would be a real good example of seeing if they’re better… but I don’t like driving games so meh, do it yourself.

Then later in the day, it hit. Or should I say, my controller hit.
The floor that is.

Yeah, yeah, we all drop controllers but with Real Triggers attached… uh oh. They broke off and flung right under my bed. Now, my bed doesn’t have an UNDER, but yet it does. Just enough space for dust to gather yet not enough to sore anything under. It’s also prime for losing small objects and one of my Real Triggers went flying under it.
So there I had to pull up my big heavy bed with my weak arms and get it. I think I ripped some of the underside of the bed or something. Meh.

So that was kind of annoying. I can’t drop my controller without these little fuckers flying off everywhere. Not so bad to me since I only occasionally drop my controllers but for the clumsy people or ANGRY GAMERS who trash their controllers… prepare for it to get even more annoying. I know a guy who actually ripped his PS3 controller in half because he was being beaten on an online game O.O

If you’re not a head-case you’re fine, though.

Real Triggers? Worth the buy if you see em lying around in some game store. I got mine in GAME but you can also get them online. Shouldn’t cost more than 6 quid. If they do, I wouldn’t get them.

Stylish Review – Funderland

This year’s Funderland, based in Dublin had not really been heard of. It just came. So, with me going I decided to review it. I didn’t take pictures of the place so excuse the lack of imagery.

The whole place is set where it usually is… RDS. The weather was pretty damn cold so the inside part was more populated. To my surprise I had to pay £2 just to enter the place. Yeah, admission pay. I was told that if I leave I’ll have to pay to re-enter, what a load of shit. The place was all lit up, as carnivals tend to be. The biggest kick in the balls was that the prices for rides has been raised this year… AGAIN. Most rides at minimum of £2.50. That might not sound like much, but I’m actually talking about Euros. Excuse my keyboard, it has not got the Euro sign. So yeah, 2.50, just that extra 50 just to piss ya right off so ya can’t even fork over the money in a single coin.

Funderland’s cold… cold Ferris Wheel.

Speaking of coins, that’s another major problem about the place. There are no coin machines to be found. I searched for a while but there was too much shit going on with the lights it was hard to make out anything in detail unless it was your hand in front of your face. The small arcade-type games were super old and look back-dated to about 3 years at least. The pick-up machines were rigged as always, no suprise there.

As for the actual rides, I can’t say they were that great either. Although I don’t remember the names, there was only a few I enjoyed or even bothered going on since most did the same thing just with a slightly different speed or colour on the chairs. Funderland seems to have this idea that all rides need to spin. More than half of the rides were in a spinning motion and little of them showed any sign of originality or different motions. Not to mention the ancient art on the damn rides. I remember the last time I went, there was art of Sega’s Mega Drive spin-off game, Kid Chameleon released in 1992. They were lucky they got rid of it but it’s only now replaced by art looking like it was made for 70s teens or even something out of the cheesy TV show, Saved By The Bell. What a joke.

I didn’t taste much of the food they had, but from what I did taste, it was also a pile of rubbish. I asked for a Pepsi, which I drank. It was so damn flat. Ya know what it tasted it like? It tasted like they just got that cheap-ass cola you find in Tesco and they had poured it into Pepsi cups. What a joke. I happen to like Pepsi more than Coke, and I can tell ya this, it was neither. Definitely some rip-off, no-brand cola from wherever. I had tasted a slushie, the ones with ice. Whatever the hell you call em, it was pretty damn nice. That is, for the first slurp. After that all I could taste was the melting ice. More than 70% of the drink was ice and water.

After throwing my ice-drink in a nearby bin, I finally caught sight of a CHANGE machine. About time, there’s like one in the entire building. Not to mention it’s in the inside part of the carnival, meaning you can’t get change before you need to give the £2 admission fee, which I hear doesn’t give out change. So if all you’ve got is a £5 note, good luck to you getting into that change machine.

There were a few good rides like that MAGIC CARPET and some other SPINNING thing again. I rode about 6 of the rides. There was one of them that was supposed to be outside, but they had placed it inside. Why? I don’t have a clue… I mean, there’s plenty of room outside, no need to cram it into the low-oxygenated interior. So the ride is supposed to go right up and around, but it only goes halfway due to the ceiling, hence, the boundaries of putting the thing in the interior. Giving it a shot was hardly a thrill. You could tell it was only doing half of what it could, yet it managed to be the most sickening. Yeah, I actually felt ill after a half-assed ride. Possibly could have been the best ride there, but managed to fuck up from chosen area of placing.

Despite how bad I make it sound, the 6 rides that I DID try happened to be the best because I’m good at singling them out. It’s worth the trip IF you can guess the good ones. If only I had remembered their names.

I thought it strange to make the demon have glowing boobs.

The worst ride had to be the ROLLERGHOATSER. Some polish-made ride meant to scare the shit out of yeah. The only thing that entertainment me was the brave little girl behind be saying, “I’m not scared of this ride.” Of which I replied, “Scared of me?” She tutted and said no. Figures… The ride was so boring. The only thing preventing you from falling asleep is this gust of wind that farts right in your face every 15 seconds from various parts on the walls. At least they had boobs posted up on the walls. Whatever.

The Ferris Wheel… well, how can you go wrong with a Ferris wheel. Well, you can’t… but I can. It was such a cold day, rising that high in the air was not a good idea. I hear the Japanese love Ferris Wheels as romantic gestures or whatever. Speaking of foreign people, there were quite a lot of Chinese AND Japanese people attending the place. This was a nice touch as I like Chinese and Japanese people. Although, what you’ll mostly come across is regular folk. Tracksuits, what-not. The Carnies are really ignorant. They hardly answer you can look as if they could shoot themselves any moment from what a shit job they’ve got. One of them yelled at my accompanying partners when we wanted to sit at the FRONT of the Magic Carpet. Nope, had to sit at the back. Then along comes a bunch of kids who take my pace in the front. The Carnie guy with blondish hair looked like a complete waster. I can just imagine him shooting up drugs after every ride.

All in all, Funderland will only be fun if ya go with fun people and know what rides to get on. If you’re on your own and don’t have a clue, you might find the place unpleasant. Don’t eat the food unless it’s already packaged, and don’t look the carnies in the eye.

Funderland gets a VERY generous score of 50% from SStylish. Bring a partner.

Stylish Review – Younger Sister Juice

(CLICK HERE to view Younger Sister Juice, streaming video.)

Yonger Sister Juice is a Hentai Anime created by none other than the great Hentai makers of Milky Animation Label. The name sounds like a typical incest Hentai Anime with minimum story and average animation. Well, Stylish had a peek to see what the deal was.

There is also cute comedy for whoever enjoys that

The whole thing starts with an opening to the city of which it takes place in. A zoom down and we start to see the characters of the Anime: Miu, a shy blueish haired scaredy-cat that has a weak body. Nana, a light brown haired girl that is quite adventurous. Yuki, a pink haired girl with stinging brown eyes and a sharp tongue for talking trash.

They begin to load boxes of their moved possessions to the residence where they are staying. With the music playing I could guess this was a comedy and with a light outlook. Then it comes. One of the girls almost falls with a box but saves herself by giving the camera a quick ass shot by bending. That’ll always save ya from certain death.

Don’t worry… he’ll perv both of you up in good time

So, the younger sisters start to get jealous over who gets to spend time with Akira, or as they call him: Ani. Which I think is a shorter version of the Japanese word for brother( like bro). That, or just his nickname. After Miu and Nana express their rivalry over their non-blood related brother, Yuki shows up and tells them to stop. Akira takes it easy on them and tells her it’s only because they are adjusting to their new life. Yeah right, he loves it.

Now, before I continue. There is a Yuki, and a Yukie. Mother and daughter. I can’t seem to remember which is which but let’s just go with Yuki as the child and Yukie as the mother. Yukie-San as Akira says. Oh wait, it is Yukie-san for mother. Silly me.

This is Akira, he’s weak to his urges

So the story continues with good enough drawings and animation. Akira explains that he is here because after his father got re-married to his non-biological mother, he had to go away to explore a great archaeological find. I think… yeah, Yukie and her daughters are in no way related to Akira by blood but they do refer to each other as family. Only Akira’s father is blood related to him. How… convenient. I wasn’t too fussy about the plot at the time but now that I look back at it, I see how they at least made an inventive effort to create a reason why there are no other males and how they are all non-blood related. Let me tell you this… that’s a hell of an amazing plot compared to some Anime Hentai.

The Hentai scenes are quite hot

Out of nowhere I’m introduced to a Hentai scene with Yukie. Now, not that Hentai scenes should not be surprising but the scene was too out-cut from another scene. For a minute I thought she was coming onto Akira in the airport! But I realised they were way forward in the house. The flashback kind of confused me, too. Anyway, I check out the drawings and animation. Things are softened up in terms of graphics and the colour focuses on Yukie’s eyes and hair. The same goes for Akira and his eyes become much more handsome than ever. The camera seems like it has Vaseline on it, though, so some people might mistake it as a fantasy scene in Akira/Yukie’s mind(s).

Ah! A censor. That’s right, this whole Anime censors all the hardcore stuff but freely shows off kissing, sex words, boobies and obvious actions of what they characters are doing to each other.

At a closer look, all the drawings, layers and colour are actually very professional

So, Yukie just forgot about her husband and decided to randomly do Akira. Hmm. Unlucky for Akira, just as he is about to cum after doing Yukie for a while, the three small sisters come right in and see him. He stops his actions and yells. Yukie doesn’t seem to notice and screams for him not to stop. The three girls each show their expression. Yuki seems dizzy, Miu seems turned on and Nana is wide eyed with a great joy. I found this an enjoyable part.

Yuki is the eldest and Miu is the youngest.

Anyway, moving on to the main story. Akira wanders into a room that his dad owned. He finds a page of writing in another language. He decodes it! Ta da! His dad thought him how. Inana shows herself to Akira. She is a small fairy-type character that doesn’t like Akira lusting after her tiny naked body. She explains to our Akira here, that he must collect three bottle of juice from the girls and his single with will be granted. However, if he fails… the greatest terror will be lain upon him. She reminds him that the greatest terror is not death.

Yep, that’s Inana. She fancies herself a Goddess

And this is Akira’s… hmm. Tools of the trade, so to speak

She sends him off into a dream world where he has sex with Miu. This is a dream, but it makes Miu have the same dream. So, they both actually did each other in a different dimension. Wooh. After waking up from a rather well-drawn scene, he finds Nana… touching herself.

With this opening for a chance to fill a bottle, he goes right in and takes the toy Nana used for masturbating and drops some of her juice into the bottle. He sees it is not enough so begins to get to work on her thinking she is asleep. She pretends to be half awake and lets him touch her. Then she reveals she was just kidding and that if he doesn’t do perverted things to her like he did with her mother, she’d tell everyone what he done. So, he accepts and begins to violate her while gathering all her juice. Bla bla.

The story manages to take it at an easy pace. Akira’s lack of wit doesn’t help the story proceed any further as he develops no plans to get the girls and ponces around by pure chance of getting to do one of them. I found this an annoying part of the Anime.

Bend over and he’ll show ya

That was the first episode. The next one is basically him and more of his deeds. The story seems to be better this time around and the characters begin to show their personality a little more. Like Inana gets cheeky and makes Yuki have sex with one of her female friends. This shows she is a lesbian. Good luck Akira!

Another one of Akira’s dreams that both Nana and Yukie share

But then after gathering Miu’s juice, the episodes stop after a scene with Akira turning into a woman! I think either the goddess did this to aid him in getting juice from the lesbian, Yuki, or this was the terror Inana mentioned. It doesn’t really matter, the episode leaves me hanging, wanting more.

But nothing. That’s it. No more episodes. I checked all over the Internet and couldn’t find anything. All Anime listings say there are only two episodes. Even the official Milky Animation Label site is a mystery as it is all in Japanese characters so I can’t even begin to search. But finally I found a comment under one of the Anime. A guy said there was a third episode and Akira being a girl is so he can do Yuki. But, I can’t believe him as everything else says otherwise so I believe he was lieing.

Younger Sister juice is a Lolicon with good drawings and strong colour. The characters take a while to develop, and for only two episodes, that’s too long for them. It smartly places little fetishes that some people wont care and others will drool over. As an actual Lolicon Hentai Anime, this is very good. As just an Anime, it leaves some character personality and episodes out to be classed as decent.

66% “Sweet!”

Stylish Review – Bebo

Bebo. The word wants to make me puke. I mean what a bloody thing to call your site… a social networking site! Bebo? It sounds like Rude from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children in the outtakes where he tries to say unbelievable in English by the Japanese voice actor. As well thought out as the logo is and even how cool the font is, it’s still just horrible. Really, it gives off no sense of appeal what so ever. But enough about that, lets get to the hardcore facts of Be bubble- I mean Bebo.

So it was made in 2005 by NO! Let me guess: A chav? NOPE. A husband and wife? No way! Well, that’s what Wiki says but I wouldn’t take Wiki’s word too likely, ya know? Bebo is/was a decent place to create a profile. Things have gotten out of hand these days. Piles upon piles of common teens in England & Ireland poncing about around their low-quality mini cams. I’ve seen way too many of these pages PACKED with horribly annoying glittering letters of their names or whatever. Also with about 24 billion friends and yes, each of the “How did we meet” forms is filled with, “I forget.” Yeah, because you didn’t meet. You just ATTACHED your profile along the never-ending river of chavness.

Behold the carppyness! (nothing against the name)

Flash box was a pretty okay idea at first. It hosted videos, did a good job at showing what you’re interested in. But then they just went and fucked it all up by giving it an Auto Play feature. So any poor soul who visits a profile will be happily scrolling down their page and suddenly the video will load an they will be blasted with a crazy video/music that no one is really bothered to watch now after feeling ear-raped.

This was all just started to suck harder when they added bands. Now, not only is joining a band COMPLETELY useless, but it also opens up windows for the worst music ever imaginable to be played on chav videos. That’s right. “YEAH MOTHER FUCKER BITCH” will probably be the first thing that loads in their Flash Box as you try to stammer out of the page, desperately searching for the back button on your browser.

No… just no.

It’s sad to see so many young teens wearing £2.49 clothes and trying to act black or Eminem.

The text on the site is very unprofessional too. I mean, if you decline to join a band it says. “No thanks, they’re not that good.” Now, that’s the most unprofessional way of choosing, “Cancel” if I’ve ever seen one. The profile editor is also pretty strange. It seems normal at the start but it goes into frightening detail about your location that you really are not bothered to fill out and will grant you NO advantage at all. What was confusing of all about the location editor was a tab with, “Other” and a description of, “Anything else”

Oh yes, hang on, after filling out my full name, country, city, district and even house number I still forgot some location information that might thwart you away from my location when you try and stalk me. I mean seriously… other?!

“I’m under the floor boards.”

But let me calm down, I’m being too hard on it. Bebo is not actually that bad. Here are few ways to keep this ever-dieing social website still Stylish to you.

1. Don’t Auto Play your Flash Box. If people want to see it, they’ll play it.
2. Limit yourself to only a few friends (30 being maximum)
3. Don’t TEXT talk, it’s retarded.
4. Look for a good skin, just 3 minutes of your time can save you from a horrible one.
5. Don’t join bands unless they are for video games. They prove useless in all ways.
6. Avoid adding all those USELESS gadgets Bebo throw at you. They are a waste of time and loading time.

Well, that’s all I can think of. If you stick to the above list and some of your own Style, Bebo won’t be as hard to swallow.

Full with the most annoying Internet traits to reality chavs ever found on the Internet, Bebo can only be stomached if you thread lightly and are intelligent enough about what to and what not to add on your profile.

37% “Crazy!”