Resident Evil: Degeneration (New Trailer)

How I won THE GAME

I’m sure you’ve heared of, THE GAME. If not, don’t read on and never think of it again.

Okay, so I’ll explain how I actually won the game. Some would say my reason is stupid, but the entire concept of THE GAME is just as stupid too.

When I was a lot younger, I once thought of a game, where if you think of it, you lose. I never really thought beyond that as I was just daydreaming, but then I thought to myself that a game like that probably exists, I just don’t know about it or its not popular yet. So, I made a rule to myself, that if I ever hear about the offical lose game (as I called it) then I would win by double negative logic! BEHOLD THE INTERNET. It’s where I heard of THE GAME. At first I was like everyone else, I thought I was IN the game. People don’t exactly remember every stupid thing that think of when they were kids.

Then it sprung up in my mind, the game I made when I was a kid. I also remembered the special rule I made for myself. At that exact point, I had won the game. I had WON the FUCKING GAME! As lame as it is to be happy over something so childish as this, GAME… I was and still am.

Some can argue that I can’t make that rule for myself… but I SO can because I made it before I’d heard the official game. And for the first person to officially make it on the net… I have just as much right as them tbfh. It was probably someone as bored as I was when I was a kid AND when I found it on the net. So yeah, people can argue all they want that I’ve lost the game, but I really don’t give a shit because I believe, and always will, that I, Robert Ninja… have won the game.

Shall we *bleep*?

Hardcore Characters

What is hardcore? When something’s core is… hard? When a five black guys slam their cocks into one, desperate white chick looking for a bit of cash? No. There are a few people in this world that are hardcore. Hardcore people are almost extinct these days. I’m not hardcore. I’m awesome, not hardcore. That is why I’m going to list some of the most hardcore FICTIONAL characters I know of and explain WHY they are so damn deep.

The only thing that is hardcore other than these people… is playing DMC music with a guitar… and the strings are made of piping hot, vinegar drenched barbed wire while wearing a trench coat made of the skin of your enemies.

To note, there is no particular order to this. Just what comes to mind.

William ‘D-Fens’ Foster- Falling Down (Movie)

Played by Michael Douglas, Foster is a no-shit taker. “Think it’s out of order.” A man formed from the very flaws of modern life. He is the contrast in the never ending cycle of work, sleep, shit and sex. No more flat burgers, beggars or over charged soda. This guy turns to the world and gives it one giant slap in fucking face and demands it to wake the hell up and cop on. Foster, brilliantly brought to life by Douglas, grabs me as one of those guys you always wished was around, everywhere, all the time.

Yagami Light/Kira – Death Note (Manga/Anime/Movie)

One of the youngest mass murderers you’ve ever seen. Not that I don’t support what he does. A lot of people seem to lean on L’s side since the show generally gets across a moral that killing every bad guy in the world is… wrong. Hm, okay then. Nevertheless, Kira kills all criminals. Every bad person that’s hurt and innocent, destroyed a family, raped a person, taken something that didn’t belong to them. Kira avoids the police, FBI, national police and basically, the WORLD. He even bypasses a genius through his OWN genius. Yep, he’s badass alright. “It’s my win!”

Leeloo – The Fifth Element (Movie)

“Multi Pass” Leeloo is the SUPREME BEING. She turns from cute, sexy, ignorant and a tool of destruction in zero point one second. Orange hair and a temper to match, she can dispose of dozens of armed guys while causing another dozen to fall in love. She may have language and communication problems but she knows hers and everyone else’s rights. A flipping beauty of pure ownage. She’ll put up a fight indeed.

Niko Belic – Grand Theft Auto IV (Video Game)

Niko doesn’t have good looks, money or even clean clothes. What he does have is everything else that stands for what a man is. He has a mission, two hands and an unbreakable sturdiness, down-to-earthness and a tone of humour to sweeten the whole deal. “Have fun, dick head.” Not taking shit from anyone and being silent when he needs to, he guides his way to his mission and takes out anyone in his way. Cheekbones that could cut cheese and an accent that grows on you, Niko here is one of my faves.

Lucy – Elfen Lied (Anime)

The red eyed bitch that impresses me deeply. Her presence of power, authority and intimidation quakes fear into those who surround her without her even saying anything. She’s been taking on swat teams since she was 8! That’s a new record. Her awesome horns and crazy hair only further increase her eye-catchingness. Slicing teen, men and women’s heads off since 2004. Show some respect. “…”

Hank – Me, Myself & Irene (Movie)

Hank is supposed to be the BAD side of Charlie in the movie but I think he’s the awesome side. A bit of asshole, but he’s basically the living, walking opposite of the word PASSIVE. Only Jim could break out this character’s personality. There are many scenes that grabbed me, but the truck through the barber shop scene was the one that made me fall in love. “You swallow?”

Dante – Devil May Cry Series (Video Game/Anime)

As cheesy and as Hollywood as they come, but only one word can truly be granted to Dante. That word, my friends, is COOL. If you were to be from the 80’s, dressed in tight black leather on a sunny day, gel your hair back but somehow still spikey, have 6 girlfriends (even if you’re a girl) and wear 8 pairs of sunglasses at the same time you wouldn’t pass the coolness of Dante. He DEFINES cool. He can shoot bullets with bullets and has white hair while he does it. I don’t even need to continue. Once you can do that, you’re hardcore and you’re on this damn list. Period. “Jackpot!”